When I'm bored...

When you live in a place called "The Blue Zoo", you're bound to hate yourself at some point. After being a cadet for half a year, this is what I think:

1. There are a lot of people who are too proud of themselves for being at the academy. They let everybody know when they got appointed that they were coming here, that's ok. Now that they're here, they still let people know that they're coming here...PEOPLE HERE!! We call these people toolbags. People who get extremely happy to tell people how cool they are and how eager they are to disseminate their knowledge of the Air Force to everyone they know, regardless of whether they care or not. Even to other zoomies. One dude was talking about how he shines his black leather gloves. Another one dude sent a classwide email to brag about how he was the first ace of our class. Who cares? Congratulations on being the first toolbag of our class.

2. It's way too easy to get sniped, so don't be stupid. Since we are the first class to have ABUs, we stand out because because we're in a non-jungle, non-desert environment. Besides, these uniforms do a terrible job of hiding us in the woods or the terrazzo.

who looks more hidden the green or gray?

3. Girls here look better in service dress. This is actually not yet confirmed. I have yet to see a girl in civies and then in service dress for a head to head comparison. But it is true what they say about falcon goggles.
not falcon goggles
My roommate stalks girls on Facebook and asks us if we think girl X is hott or nott... Beauty is all relative...and how desperate you are

4. Basic Cadet Training at Camp USAFA is the bestest cheapest awesomest meanest leanest summer camp you could ever ask for.
Just ask this kid--> <--She scares me.
Free clothes, free food, free room and board, Excellent camp counselers, I think i'm a happy camper. Basic cadet Confused reporting his orders.

5.Academics are cake. For me atleast. I don't want to say I haven't tried, but this first semester was about getting a feel for life here rather than putting my nose into books. Only people who spend hours at a time reading books arre bigg nurds. So I can spend time running my miles of trials instead or trials of miles, whichever you prefer.

6. Who the hell is Jack? His valley sucks by the way. A- Course is the gay course. O-Course is the blow course. LRC==Safety first. LRC Walsh--one hott babe. Ops Warrior was just plain Hooah.

Having to go back out there during Comm's Challenge and run the O-Course again made me want to slit my throat. The place looks like a prison camp out of the movies, and it feels like one too. The only good thing was that I heard cougars and mountain lions lived out there...too bad I never found one. Thanks for giving us all Jack's Hack, Jack. That was the most annoying 3 weeks of my life, having to listen to my classmates suffer while cadre told us to shut up; we can't help it. Whoever Jack is/was, I want to read his wikipedia article.

7. There should be a facebook group called Cadet Captain Kenneth "Drew" Powers is NOT a hardass.
smiles all around
As much as he tries to look like an extremely tough and mean guy, he is a short little dude who wears extremely shiny jump boots and tailored BDUs because it looks "sharp" ( Powers). Actually, he's a fuzzy little dude who likes to tell me repackaged Disney stories as bedtime stories **Lion King**. Nice analogy by the way with the pack of mean African bees. Also, you're Texas accent is not very convincing. Work on it. And although I respect him for being a fine leader, and telling us he has watched us grow up from day 1 of basic like a lil daddy, he is most definately our mommy, C1C Corey Crowell is most definately the daddy in their relationship. You were a cool training officer, especially when you were drunk, way to be a role model ;)...up until the point where you refused to go on a rifle run with just ME.

8. You're soo hoood, I'm sooo Hooah. This one bugs me. I know we're in the Air Force, but freakin do some more FTX because we are an expeditionary Air Force not a Chair Force. I want to shoot some guns, I want to get my face dirty in the dirt, I want be know what it feels like in a war zone. Maybe some more obstacle courses? More some better haircuts? I don't know. Fix it.


9. Some people can turn out to be cool during the school year.
Some people who appear to be total D-bags during Basic actually are pretty chill. C2C Dombrowski likes THE Ohio State University--just like me, and turns out he can actually take a joke. C1C Corey Crowell is not all business, especially when he is talking to C4C Brown, my roommate.

10. ...And some other people go the opposite way. 2nd BCT A-squad B-flight commmander has turned out to be a total dissappointment. Perhaps it comes from rooming with the 1st BCT squadron commander who definately likes little boys and is a BIGG NURDD. Regardless, we saw this one coming, and we're not gonna miss these guys when time comes for their passing from this place.

11. What does a stractasarus look like?
pretty dang stract...no?

First of all what is a stractosaurus? Look at that dude, with his perfect hhonor guard position of attention. Gotta follow the rules right? Right down to the last drop of ink on the page. Stract up or be dealt with by toolbags. It's a hard-knock life, Bro.

12( Never Falter, Never Fail). Johnny Bravo and Jody



Ok, first of all, Johnny Bravo would have been more fonder if left in cartoon form. But at Ops Warrior, this seargeant, grabs my buddy, puts him on his knees, takes his M-16 and points it at his head. Then proceeds to tell us that he(seargeant hill) is a terrorist and we're watching him kill our buddy on TV...that he is some Al-Qaeda dude. psshhh... whatever right? Here's where it gets funny. He asks my buddy "Do you want to die for your country, Johnny Bravo?" Johnny Bravo then became synonymous with G.I. Joe or something like that.

Who is this beautiful girl Jody that I keep hearing about?
Yeah...its actually just a cadence, probably some deadbeat jarhead who couldn't get his cheating girlfriend out of his head while he was at basic. According to Wikipedia though, its "supposed"to be about this girl named Jody who happens to be a recurring character in a bunch of them.
My favorites:
Red's Jody
Fighter Pilots
Choppers Coming ( sung as if singing in a boy band)

13. Hhonor, Hard.




















Perhaps the most irratating combination here is that of a tool and a stractasaurus. It just BUGS me. Look soo good for everybody, even get your BDUs tailored so you can't wear body armor underneath your blouse even if your life depended on it. Also, act like a complete dick and tool to all the indocs who want to be part of your cult...ok...Real cool... I guess there's a reason for everything. They do execute things pretty well. They're very well dressed and covered when marching, and they are very good at raising and lowering the flag. and clicking their heals. But the thing that really has gotten me is the way they talk. If you want to be in hhonor hard, start by adding an H to the beginning of everything you say just for hemphasis. And it will get addicting, it will become habit, it will become a part of you. hhonor hard and hue. Hue and Hhonor hard.

14.Recognition is gonna SUCK balls. Ok, first of all, this is not a normal frat. OK we've established that. Instead of making you do stupid stuff that is humiliating, they just yell at you and beat until your body is a pretty fine pulp or until your nerves are all frayed.

That's ok though--when you're that desperate to be recognized and be at rest, you'll do anything... ANYTHING, maybe even Form 34. I'm not gonna BS anybody, I hate my life already. But I'm gonna hate it more in the next two months. Please write me letters. In the letters, please include a message along the lines of: You're not dirt OR You don't suck that bad OR give me a percentage of how much time left until I'm recognized. Maybe include a lollipop because sugar makes all problems go away. Never falter never fail, right?









15. Hail to the Chief....and Chaplain Davidson
For all you future doolies out there, you will get to know and love these two dudes more than anything you'll ever know. The chief is one of the most down to earth, chillest guys you'll ever meet, but will teach you everything you need to know to hold yourself to the standard. They call him "the Chief"' because he is the chief...he's a retired Chief Master Sergeant...that's an E-9 highest enlisted rank in the Air Force. When he talks, people listen.

and Chaplain Davidson... what a clown. He is the Jewish chaplain, who takes the most effort to cheer up the cadet wing. Like when we were marching back from Jack's Valley, he was standing on a podium with a megaphone playing "We are the Champions", or on Acceptance Day when he rode around on top of a golf cart with his megaphone cheering people on. Or when he would stand on a chair outside Mitchell Hall doing random stuff to try to cheer us up. Let me say this, if you're Jewish, you're really lucky because this dude is your chaplain.

15. I've had a lifetime of expriences that none of my friends back home will ever have. From pissing my pants to falling asleep while marching, it's been a good time. But I've grown up so fast. It tends to happen to you when you are being constantly scrutinized by adults who know what they are doing and have done that way for atleast 10-20 years. And then also realizing what you got yourself into, possibly going off in four years to fight a war that you have no business fighting for. And then walking around in uniform to more scrutiny under the public eye, can't do anything a normal person does because you are a person of higher moral character, one that people look up to. Not some piss drunk college student deadbeat who goes out every night looking for the hardest party to crash. Sometimes, I wish I was the latter dude..without the drinking, just the fact that you are a normal person.

Finally,

16. A word of the Wise--Cynicycism is the NUMBER ONE killer of Cadets
No joke and no BS. If you are a negative person, you will either hate yourself to the point that you will be bitter the rest of your life and don't deserve to come and waste this experience when somebody else who would have had a positive attitude would have struggled through it better or you will FORM 34 the hell out of here. Don't get me wrong....nobody likes it here, not even the firsties (well...actually they're about to get out of here, so they might like it). But for everybody else, enjoy the fun stuff because good moments are fleeting. Isn't that a lesson in life though? Am I a cynic? Yes, sometimes. At first, always. I hated myself for coming here that first week, and I didn't think I'd make it through Basic. But you learn to extract the positives from everything, even if you must do a single displacement reaction. Especially throughout the school year, I've had fun, and as much as I hate to think about the next two months leading up to recognition, the bestest thing I have going for me is my sometimes idiot roommate, Willis Brown, who lightens things up all the time, especially when I'm down. Thanks Willis

Alright yall, it's late, this is long, but I'm out.

That was it, Done... no more high school.... EVER!

Now it's time to step back and reflect on the past twelve years and what they represented

I'm not going to bore you with the usual sentimental shit, but seriously guys, I want each and everyone of you to do this the day school gets over. It really comes full circle all the shit you've been through.


Me and all the big kids going to school for the first day. I was really excited. I had all the stuff ready. Had my backpack straps tied, had tags on my backpack, memorized my bus number, saved a bus seat for me and my friends. I was ready to go. I remember the good smell of the school on the first day of school, and all the kids going to class, and I remember going... this is the real deal.



I hope you can remember your first bus ride, and your first step into school, and your first school lunch and how nervous you were that you were gonna screw up. There was actually something to my thinking but I can't remember what I was thinking back then. All I know is that for you seniors, Thanks for making my journey so that much more fun and challenging, and for you juniors make good memories on every moment possible and live every moment to the fullest as possible. I felt like I left school without any spectacular fanfare, and just with a good friend by my side as I left school for the very last time. Reflect on your very first moment you smelled the oil of the school bus as you stepped into that yellow cheese box. It's a cool transcedental moment, all boxed into one.

I've been really busy these last few weeks doing last minute cramming for tests and finals, and getting quality runs in. And running has only amplified what I've been trying to do for the past four years. Quarter mile at a time---



Actually, that's the end of the last quarter mile i'll ever run in high school. But what I'm saying is, when you engage in something, you don't have to be distracted by the bigger picture as long as you're so passionate about it. Go ahead and enjoy the details. For that minute or so nothing else should matter.

I've heard a lot of praise about how i'm a hard worker. I guess I owe it to you all, those who have poked and proded and encouraged and pushed and challenged me to elevate my game. So here's a salute to you those who have made me who I am today.


I think the saddest moment is the one we all have been waiting for. Whether you want to admit it or not, there will be heartfelt goodbyes to those you knew and cared for so much and invested so much time to share your livelihood with. I walked into talk with Ms. Marshall today, and she started crying when I thanked her for the past four years. Juniors, if you think you're sick of school and all the people in it, guess again, make sure you get to know everybody and know every side of them, whether they be some cocky asshole, shy nerd, or hardcore bitch, or down to earth. Only then, can you value everything that is your existence.


I have to go run now (literally), so I'm gonna check out. Before I go, just wanted to remind everyone my address, that I hope you write to me at:

Basic Cadet Lance Wu
PO Box 5392
USAFA, CO 80841

Here's one for you: Spring break 2008 may be your last real spring break.

As I look back, I see my life thus far; I see all my little kid memories of me running around John Ankeney field playing soccer. I remember the time I begged my mom to let me get a PS2 with my christmas moneyz. I remember the time when my cousins visited and I cried when they left. I remember getting my name on the board for making a disturbance in class (multiple times). I remember hiding bad quizzes and tests under my bed so my mom wouldn't find them. I remember when spring break felt like an eternity. I hate to dwell on those thoughts, but a friend and future classmate made it clearer than ever that there is an ever-growing rift between the old me and the new me that's to come.

view from I-675 underpass


Here's what I miss: when time (even when you were having fun) wasn't fleeting. When summer days meant going to Woodhaven pool and swimming in an outdoor pool. Playing soccer at BSA. being a kid and not knowing the pressures of living. Not knowing calculus, physics, chemistry, english, or any kind of high school level skill. not relying on the computer and the internetz tubes as your primary lifeline. Running around and not having to worry about getting fat. Dreaming.


Here's who I'll miss: all my friends from elementary school who got me through school before the onset of "cliques", Jake, Ben, Wil, Anton, the very guys who knew how to get it done. My XC coaches, who rejuvenated my love for running, Coach Eby, Clements, and Opperman. My track coach and inspiration, Mr. Tom Miller. Those character that made me the monster who I am, Coach Sellers. All my asian crew--we used to roll deep--Steven, Will, Neal, Joel, Bo, John. My piano teachers--for instilling the love of music in my soul--Mrs. Macaulay, and Dr. Filos. My first grade teacher who really shaped my character and believed in me, Lyndell Maultsby, my elementary school teacher, who let me sketch and doodle when everybody else was papermachaying, Delores Buchanan. My friends and teachers, and overall buds, Ms. Nic, and Mrs. Pierce, who helped me get by the tough times by just talking about bygone times. All my friends who accepted me even though I'm not uber smart or restrained. My family--Mom, Dad, Christine, the very people I live every day for and you have cared for me every living, breathing moment. My cousin Winnie, who I often fought with and disagreed with, but respected a hell of a lot. My uncle, Kane, who is more like my brother for believing in me when no one else did. To my cousin Alvin, who like I, have dreamed big dreams. And to the kid me, a fat(but nonetheless healthy) , fun loving, creative, and energetic baby, a person I wish I still was.

I guess what I'm getting at is that looking back, moving to Indiana has made me a person, that I perhaps wouldn't have become had I not lived here. I miss living in Ohio, and when I found out my sister was seriously considering attending THE Ohio State University, I was overcome with joy probably because I would be able to visit Columbus for the first time since leaving in 1990. To be able to visit Dayton, the very place that I grew up, and a piece of me still lives there, a piece of skin that I cut off so that I could live there forever( It's probably compost now).

Leaving everything I have ever known is going to suck, no doubt. but i can do it. It's just becoming harder and harder to think about it because as you all saw, I'm writing some sort of death speech, that I hope someone would read at my funeral. This is probably the last time that I will get to write about what's going on in my head. I don't know why I make such a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal to me.

{cut to 2008}I found this year to especially fulfilling and joyful, going to track practice every day this week has been THE epitomizing sense of accomplishment, this week, and getting all my homework done due next week and getting as far ahead in schoolwork as I could definately helped too. But perhaps, the freedom of doing what I wanted was a bittersweet accomplishment this week. On one hand, I did waste a lot of time doing something that I've denied myself for five years--playing a true video game, but on the other, I helped out someone who I really care about, and I gathered some stuff to help others out. Being my last spring break, it better have been a good one. Perhaps the greatest thing about this year, is that I didn't have to go to Florida or some exotic island that costs BUX to enjoy and lay out and get roasted, but living life on my terms is the greatest gift of all.

Perhaps there may be no cure for the itch. There is not magic bullet to pull me closer to what I have known for so long, because, maybe because I left it long ago, thinking it would be something new and better. Was I ever wrong. SO.... before I ride off this time , I just wanted to tell everyone I love them.